Brant Powell is the unsung hero to numerous “penny-a-day” chupacabras in Guatemala. He is 36th level with 754 HP and infinite mana. Seriously, you don’t want to mess with that. He is not Samoan, but like all things Samoan, he is dangerous. Monsoon dangerous. Like, killer storm, knock down house, burn up trees dangerous. He cannot be controlled by “science” or swayed by the cries of the many. However, he will occasionally give out delicious confectionery treats, sometimes called candy, except instead of candy it’ll be a punch in the face. That’s his thesis statement. Also, he occasionally writes about himself in the 3rd person.